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"The Wind Beneath
My Wings":
" ... She taught me the foundations of love; Love is patient and kind... Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, always remains strong."
"A mother is the truest friend we have when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity, when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." -- W. Irving
When children are still young, a mother's role to her child seems clearly defined. She is the teacher, the provider, the advocate, the doctor, the chef, the chauffer, the detective, the peacemaker, and the list continues on. Interestingly enough, as the child grows through the tumultuous adolescent years, sometimes out of defiance, the role of a mother in their life grows faint. This is particularly evident in a mother-daughter relationship. Nevertheless, as children age, they start to realize the weight of a mother's love and the intense depth of her commitment in a child's life, regardless how old or young they may be or the number of children in her family. No other relationship we develop can ever replace and impact us the same way. Each year, Mother's Day is celebrated every second Sunday of May. The first traditions can be traced back to ancient times in Greece and also in England, honoring mothers for a mother who tried to establish "Mother's Friendship Days" in the late 19th century, as a way to heal the scars of Civil War. It was then proclaimed on 1914, by President Wilson that Mother's Day would be a national holiday. Thus, Mother's Day was born as a tribute to all mothers for their life's sacrifices they have provided to all of us. Much has been said about the closeness of a mother and a son, as well as the bond between a father and a daughter; but most are intrigued about the nature in a mother-daughter relationship. Counselors, psychologists, psychiatrist, and other researchers have gone through intense studies on the dynamics of the relationship between mothers and daughters. Movies such as "Terms of Endearment," "Tumbleweeds," "One True Thing," "Anywhere But Here," and "The Joy Luck Club," have explored and depicted the characteristics behind this relationship. Some mother and daughter relationships are juxtaposed to the "love-hate relationship"-- they can be each other's best friend or worst enemies, often within minutes from each other or even at the same time. Nonetheless, nothing is compared to the connection formed between a mother and her daughter. Side by side through the struggles, hardships, and overcoming the tortuous obstacles, the walls can be broken and the relationship can be healed, restored, and strengthened. As the oldest of four children, I grew up to be "daddy's girl," until my two younger sisters were born. My sisters and I would have disputes about who is "dad's #1." I supposed it's already a given to us that my brother is "mom's beloved--the mommy's boy." It is quite incomprehensible, how the daughters would be apprehensive to claim which of us is "mom's favorite daughter," when she faithfully goes through extreme measures for any of her children, especially me. While my dad is genuinely wonderful, it is my mom that I would seek when I have problems at work, disagreement with friends, and the matters of the heart. She gave me advices that were objective and priceless, and spoke words such as, "if you really care about this person, then you need to forgive and let go of the past." She is fair and occasionally would even take the other person's side. In the course of their marriage, my parents demonstrated the qualities I seek in a relationship. She taught me the foundations of love; "Love is patient and kind... Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always remains strong." When I make mistakes, Mom would not ask, "what I did wrong?" instead she would say, "what lessons did you learn?" When I go through hard times and complain, she would utter, "be thankful because this experience will shape and strengthen your character." When overlooked on an opportunity, she comforts me by saying 'the next one will be better, I guarantee you." Just hearing her voice and the encouragement of her faith, I am comforted that everything will fall into its place. My mother is a phenomenal Filipina with a heart for God and dedication to her family. She has the courage and faith that can move mountains. I have admired her insights, determination, and ability to love. My value and resilience for education and constant search for knowledge was inspired by her, when despite all, she strived and graduated college and became a Certified Public Accountant after I was already born and while she was pregnant with my brother. She instilled in me at an early age that I can be anything and achieve everything I put my mind and my heart on. She believed in my capabilities as a child and started me in school at the age of 3. She opened my eyes at a young age to appreciate poetry, music and literature; she took me to my ballet lessons, brought me to church and taught me the fundamentals I can continually fall back on in life. She exposed me to different interests so that I would become a well-rounded person. She showed me that it is not the clothes that people wear, the car they drive, or the value of their home that defines a person to be exceptional. It is not what you have attained, but it's the journey you have traveled to achieve it. Through her friendships, I cherish and value the quality of close friends I have and learned that a handful that will stand by my side is greater than a whole crowd watching. She expressed that it is through your perseverance, fortitude, and your intelligence that people will see the beauty within. "No one can take what is inside your head or what is in your heart." My mom did the best that she could for us at the time she did it. Growing up, my mother and I had many barriers and difficulties, and remain continuously to struggle working on our relationship. I misunderstood her good intentions and confused it for constant nagging. Part of the complexities to our situation was my desire for independence, search for individuality, and my quest for solitude. I wanted in my own right to find out who I am and what I am here for. I became stuck in my own world that she felt somehow neglected. She wrote me pages and pages of letters, along with numerous messages, which expressed her sadness, frustrations, desires, and hopes that we can overcome the challenges in our way. She reminds me that when I am hurting, she is hurting also. Regardless of the sleepless nights and restless hours filled with worries I have caused her, she continues to wipe the slate clean. Despite of the circumstances and my father's objections, she understood and supported my decisions and allowed me to spread my wings. My mom often carried other people's problems on her shoulders. Frequently I wonder if she feels lonely, since she is persistently diligent "putting out the fires," and rarely has time for herself and often have ignored her own needs. I witnessed her pray each morning for my family, loved ones, and people she has never even met. She is sincerely generous with her time, understanding, and her compassion; this is how she is making a difference. Like most mothers, my mom would rather give the limelight and let her children shine. She gained gratification by staying behind the scenes and watch her children accomplish their dreams. Even when it's "her day" to receive recognition, she steers the focus out of herself, and willingly discuss the pride she acquires from her children's activities. When I share my goals, visions, and aspirations, she doesn't question how extreme or diminutive it may be. She taught us that when we fall: to get up again, dust your self, and keep going. Now that I'm older, my mom and I are learning to become better friends. She admits that she's not perfect, which reminds me that we're both in this process together. She regards me as an adult, appreciates my opinions, and even considers my advice; well, fashion advice that is. Though my brother inherited my mom's sensitivity, empathy, and nurturing abilities, I am blessed to have acquired her wisdom, willpower, dedication, courage, and tenacity. When I feel in despair, I know I can talk to her and just hearing her voice, I knew that come what may, things would be okay. She is my crutch, I lean on her; and without her I am lost. I realized that she also had similar experiences with her mother, my "mama." They also went through the same struggles and conflicts, familiar disagreements, and have gained related perspectives along the way. In essence, even when I'm old and gray, I will remain her daughter and she will still be my mother. I respect her for all that she has gone through and the lessons she shared with me through her journey. Mom, thanks for your unconditional
love, your prayers, your encouragement, and for endlessly believing
in me. Thank you for being my mother, my mentor, and my friend.
All that I have accomplished and hoped to be, I credit to you.
The seed you have planted inside my heart will cling to me all
my life. Though I don't say it often, I am very grateful for all
the things that you do and I value you in my life. You are indeed,
the wind beneath my wings. Happy Mother's Day. (Republished with permission from the author and Asian American Journal: International Examiner, article originally published at Asian American Journal: International Examiner on May 2001.) ________________________________________ About the author:: Ms. Joann Natalia Aquino is a freelance professional writer/ journalist, and a Legislative Liaison working on public policy development and legislative affairs for the Governor’s Commission on Asian Pacific American Affairs for the State of Washington. In her spare time, she is also an Editor for a few publications (print and online), and is currently writing her first book "The Re-awakening of the Babaylan: Her Story," along with other shelved writing projects, she vows to finish sometime in her lifetime. At the moment, she juggles her time traveling between Seattle and New York, the places she both calls her "home." To reach the author, please e-mail: joannnatalia@newfilipina.com or editor@newfilipina.com .
©Copyright 2001. Joann Natalia Garcia Aquino. All rights reserved. |
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