On Motherhood
Owning Our Bodies
by Connie dello Bueno
My five year old cries when I leave the house to go to work. My three yr old who I still breastfed during the night won't talk to me on the phone. I have to work and stay for eight hours in the corporate world to live well in Silicon Valley where two-income family is the standard.
I remembered leaving my firstborn when he was three months old to go back to work and being fired for pumping milk in the restroom and using the Family Leave. How many of us work during the night to be able to spend the day with our kids? How many of us are working two jobs to pay for our mortgage and kids college expenses?
We are noted to be loyal to our families and work. We made sure that our kids go to college no matter what. Work and mothering all in one. Today, I want to share to you about Owning our Bodies: The role of the Filipina Mother in the 21st century. For those of us who have spent our first mothering years in the USA, we have depended on books and other support network and have relinquished some of our roles to the babysitter and the bottle.
Some of us, don't have our own mother to teach us how to cope with pregnancy, labor, birth and breastfeeding. I was fortunate to have the company of midwives, childbirth educators and breastfeeding consultants. This is why I vowed to share what I have learned from them. I want to lessen the stories of Filipina mothers who had abdominal surgeries or c-sections, birth complications and had difficulty in caring for their newborns. As we teach a mother, we teach a nation. I wanted to teach new Filipina mothers of their bodies and the wisdom of midwives. Yes, midwives who are called the old style by many of our Filipinas born in the cities. We have forgotten the tradition of childbirth at home and breastfeeding in favor of the belly scar and the bottle.
In our quest for financial freedom we have forgotten to massage our babies when they are sick, use herbs and tender mother care. Yet, it is not too late for the 21st century Filipina Mothers will seek to be empowered and seek spiritual and moral substance in the ways they mother. Filipina mothers will learn to select the right foods for their pregnant bodies and their babies. They've known that toxins in their environment had spoiled their bodies and that some of our Pinays even got breast cancer and other related cancer from our lifestyle choices. Filipina mothers will share with the younger Pinays how we've been mothered and our Lola's tradition of healing ways: from hilot to green leaves. Filipina mothers will be experts in massage and breastfeeding. And truly we can say that together with the Indian mothers, we have calm babies who where delivered with the assistance of midwives and were not let to cry but soothed by our breasts and massaged by our hands.
Connie Dello Buono is the author of the book Birthing Ways, Healing Ways. To avail of this book and more mothering information by Dello Bueno please visit her site at www.motherhealth.com
On Motherhood
Articles by Connie Dello Bueno
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